Saturday, June 26, 2010

Cultural awareness training for Ruby League referees - WTF

Reading the Sydney Morning Herald this morning, the online version I'm not that well off to buy it up here in Townsville, and there is a story in there calling for the introduction of "cultural awareness training" because some lebanesse and pacific islanders have trouble with some of the words refs use during the match.

So some how the snivel liberterians have decided that it is the refs job to become 'culurally sensitive' to the whiners feelings about being called a boy, or "Thats tackle 5 son get off him", god knows what they think when they get told to 'pack' when going into a scrum. No I don't believe that refs need cultural training. Rather the players need to realise that the rules of the game are made to ensure fair play and to have a framework in which a game can come to a conclusion at the end of two halves and not as one more oppertunity to express their over sensitive culturally whinings. If you can't control yourself, your coach is incapable of teaching you how the game is to be played, you won't follow the directions of the ref then you have no place playing the game. Might I suggest you join the other football game and play soccer instead.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Mission Impossible number 1 - The Wedding

8 weeks to go until my middle daughter gets married. Yes it is my first one as a parent and as I sit back and watch all 4 females in the house go into melt down we are about to have a visit from "The Haidresser" who is going to do a "Trial" hairdo for the impending bride, bridesmaids, (well 2 of them the other one is in south east Queensland and 1500 kilometers away), mother of the bride etc. My hair dressing will consist of a Number 4 crew cut the morning of the wedding and possibly a beard trim if I feel up to it at the time. So what am I doing? I am retreating to the yard and start the weedeater and mower. I want absolutely nothing to do with the impending production which by all accounts and the rapidity of my skrinking bank balance will be as cost effective as the invasion of Europe in WWII, well maybe not quite that much but not far short of it.

I understand table cloths and napkins, dinnerware has been selected, the chairs are 'ugly' (this is a deliberate ploy by the venue. The chairs are, well chairs and quite servicable as they are but they are painted white so who in their right mind would want white chairs at a wedding reception?)so they are going to be covered  for some reason at $5.00 a chair with a white chair burqa, and this morning my wife is once again making candles before the hair destroyer sorry hair dresser arrives. I understand that she wants to have something hand crafted on the tables as decorations, I really do. But when you buy 25gs of wax, a litre of scent (which i think is modelled on a particularly nasty urinal block circa 1954 from Queensland Government Railways she assures me it is Magnolia/Lavender but what would I know), moulds, thermomemeter, double boiler, wicks, wick stands etc etc all for a canle which is 75mm in diametre stand 30 cm high and will probably burn for 72 hours and will sit on the table casting it's foul scent for about 5 minutes before some bloke gets the shits with it and blows it out. So far she has made 7 of the 10 'she' needs.  This along with menu selection, the car selections, hand made Save the Date and Invitations, buying of dresses for teh mother of teh bride, new jewllery, shoes, hand bag, make up 'trial' etc etc etc and I get a new shirt and tie and socks.

The looming Bucks Night and Hens Night. Aah the Bucks Night. I will be running security. No mobile phones, cameras,  etc to take embarrasing photos of the Groom and all car keys confiscated before entry and where myself and the other older males will quietly complete a fade away around 9.30PM before the strippers arrive and I can say quite honestly that we saw NO strippers at the party. We will come back to my place for a late BBQ supper and copious quantities of Bundy.  Busses have been organised to pick up the Bucks party and Hens Party at 10.30PM for the bar hopping session.  He is a sensible lad and is having the Bucks party 2 weeks before the wedding. This might not allow his eyebrows to grow back in time but at least the Texta tattoos should have scrubbed off by then.

Well must away they have started to arrive and I feel teh hackles on my back hair starting to rise, which is a sure sign of impending doom. Aah where is my shed keys??????

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Urban drop kicks

Just read another story of numpties in Melbourne braking into cars and releasing the hand brakes so that they roll down hill and crash. Am I missing something here? Is that supposed to be some sort of thrill? Where do you get your kicks from that? Back when i was a lad, about 40 years ago now, we got our kicks by doing normal stuff, football, cricket, swimming, wagging school, smoking behind the bike sheds trying to impress girls by smoking at the movies and having slick back hair, got into the odd fight etc and  I stole a car once, but I was crap at it and got caught before I got to the end of the street. Bloody 3 on the tree gears, couldn't get it out of first and stalled the old holden FB. Copper dropped me on my arse, well it was his car, dragged me home where the old man also gave me a thrashing but the worse was the looks I got from my Mum. The good old mothers guilt trip. Where did we go wrong, didn't we cuddle hime enough as a baby, my son the criminal, we will be branded for life as hopeless parents, the shame, whe will have to sell the house and move interstate etc etc etc. Now days with the government and the politically correct Nazi's removing all parental responsibility on to what ever department they deem fit to handle the situation has led to 3 story high graffitti attacks on everything that does or doesn't move. I caught two kids having a tagging session on my local Girl Guide hut. Two wallops around the ears with my cane sent they bawling home with my business card so the parents could contact me as to why their little darlings came home with lumps on their heads. Never heard a peep out of them and that was 7 years ago. Hopefully they will have learned a lesson and don't do it again.

Where have we as a society decided to surrender and allow these arseholes to run ragged over society? Who is responsible? Some faceless goody two shoes with high ideals and no friggen idea of the real world. Is it time to bring back the cane? Maybe. But there is a method of dealing with these people that will remain with them for a long time to come. Make those who are caught personal details shoved into a searchable online public database for the next 45 years. Every prospective employeer will need to do a background check to see what they are getting by way of shit they have done in the past. Oh and for the tax payers of this countries sake make piss testing for drugs compulsory for those on teh dole. Test positive have your dole payments reduced, test positive twice go to jail. My taxes shouldn't be used to prop up the bloody drug habits of those too bone idle to get off their arses and do something worth while. Can't find a job? Volunteer for something. Picking up rubbish around parks isn't beneath anyone, scrub graffitti off walls, visit an old folks home, ask a neighbour if they need a hand, join the Emergency services, get off your arses and do something worthwhile with your lives instead of watching TV/surfing the net and breeding a population of dead beats.

Now heres an idea Mr Rudd. If a student wants to leave school at 15, make it compulsory that they have to do a minimum of 12 months work on the land BEFORE they qualfy for the dole. Call it work for the dole or whatever. This will give them an appreciation of how tough real life is in the real world.

I'm old and opinionated. So what, I was here first. Step up and take responsibility for yourselves and your actions. Remember without people like me you wouldn't have the Internet, iPhones, digital cameras, computers and gaming consoles, MTV and everything else you demand to have these days to entertain you.

Monday, June 7, 2010


I let my wife go to Bunnings unsupervised the other week. 4 hours later she comes home with 2 fruit trees, no paint brushes and another 15 litres of paint, which I am now informed I will need because she has decided to paint the other bedrooms. In other words I get to paint the other bedrooms. Only problem is that I have run out of serviceable paint brushes. Sigh. And the roller situation is looking dire too. So I guess it is my turn to go to Bunnings. No I won't take her with me she gets side tracked. No doubt within 35 minutes of leaving home she will start ringing my mobile wanting to know where I am and what I am buying. So to plan this like a military campaign. Go to front door of Bunnings, head to paint department, pick up a pack of 4 paint brushes, 2 x 12mm nap 210mm wide rollers, another bottle of turps, bottle of sugar soap, masking tape maybe 4 rolls, and another plastic drop sheet. 15 minutes travel time 10 minutes to find stuff and hit checkout gives me at least 15 minutes to head home bfore the electronic leash starts yapping at me. Sigh I treat all time aprt from my wife as bliss. Can't see why she doesn't see it the same way myself. Probably because she knows I'm going to die before she will and she just wants to make sure she gets a decent amount of nagging in before I leave her.

Aah now theres a though to make my heart warmer on another cold night. No nagging. Sigh, death where is thy sting -seems like a bonus to me.

Friday, June 4, 2010

Buying a home now

I watched question time yesterday - (yeah I know only old farts watch question time so what I'm an old fart) my hero Bob Katter got thrown out because he raised the same question three times and was warned after the first time not to do it again but in true mad hatter Bob fashion he persisted.

The question that got him thrown out? "Why is the mining companies pulling out of mining in his area, with the loss of 3700 jobs directly and nearly double that indirectly in his electorate and is it due to the new great big tax on mining"? Remember that the government has introduced this tax in a panic to stop the Australian dollar spiraling down to the level of the Zimbaween Pound and forcing housing prices so high that Bill Gates would be flat out getting a morgage.

Hopefully Australia will never again see home loan interest rates topping 14% like it did when we first started looking at buying a house in 1975.

Aah the good old days. My regular pay packet in 1975 was $106.27 a fortnight. Beer was $3.20 a 6 pack, 10c a pot on happy hour, packet of Winny Reds was 40c, petrol was 14.8c a litre, a brand new Valliant Charger cost about $5000.00 with every option and your average house and land package in Brisbane in Ferny Grove was $25,500.00. Man we where living like kings back then with no kids.

Instead we built in 1995, house and land $118,000.00 - single income ($37,500.00 gross), 5 kids no bank in the land would touch us but a credit union did. Man did we struggle to get through the first couple of years. No movies, no big birthday parties for the kids, I didn't buy a beer for 3 years, smokes where a packet of rollies a week and eventually even they had to go, I rode a pushbike to work to save money. Had one family holiday to Brisbane in 5 years, my wife made all our kids clothes and school uniforms, no maccas, 15 year old car that just kept going thank god, I worked 2 part time jobs plus a full time job just to put food on the table and pay bills but in the end we made it. We now owe so little the bank we are now with is bombarding us with offers for loans.
Not bloody likely mate. I'm a retired pensioner now. Now way in hell could we afford a loan.

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Observations of life through the news.

I'm not that old but some days feel as if I'm about 100 when I see what is happening in the world today.

No I'm not talking about War, oil spills or politics but rather the now suprising amount of mundane drivel that makes the news these days and the outcomes.

As an example I offer this gem.

I just read a news story about some idiot female named Lauren Rosenberg from Park City Utah, in the USA (please feel free to sue me as I need some excitement in my life) who is trying to sue Google because she downloaded some walking instructions to get from where she was to an address onto her Blackberry and she walked onto a highway and got hit by a car.

I mean hullo.

Its a friggen highway you dimwit.

She is also trying to sue the cars driver for not looking out for her? I mean what the?

It is people like her who make mandatory warning labels on things like coffee cups compolsory.

But there is a push from the fwit Politically Correct, wrap the world in tissue paper wankers of this world who would like to see signs erected on every beach in Australia that states, amongst other things that, "Water contains salt and may be unfit for human consumption" and this classic. "Warning - Drowning hazard ahead" along with "Sharks and other Marine creatures can kill"

I'm getting old, so what.

Just remember I have had sex 10000 times more than you have you.

Now what seems to be your problem youngster?